Sailors Make Better Lovers Is now actually backed by science


Netherlands- Results from a seemingly boring study titled “Environmental Effects on the Virility Index” conducted at the Onzin Institute in Amsterdam arrived at astounding conclusions that will surely see more naval recruits! During a radio interview with the program Director, Dr. Hijen Krachtig revealed, “As a scientist, one should always be surprised when common knowledge turns out to be true. In reality, most common preconceptions in this study proved to be of a mythical nature.” What was indeed so surprising about the study’s findings? Sailors’ achieved higher scores than any other group or as the study states, “produced results significantly outside the variants in multiple analyses.”


This Dutch study is part of bigger project which attempts to quantify human sexual drive, potency and ability using a standardized scale called a Virility Index. The project is backed many large drug companies, which has in itself created a controversy. Critics of the study have pointed out that the project is simply an attempt to create a “normalcy” standard (which doesn’t exist) so that more drugs may be sold. Nevertheless, many universities have lent support to Onzin Institute, citing that there is a need for advanced research in human sexuality.

The sample size of the study looked at 2,000 Dutch couples and attempted to measure each subject’s reaction to various stimuli. Numerous sensors including a blood-enzyme monitor, a “self-calibrating turgidity anchor”, scalp and skin sensors and a heat-sensing video camera were used to take physical recordings. In the second half of the study, couples were measured during lovemaking. The results from both halves were then compared and cross-referenced to subjects’ personal data, to determine results for both couples and individuals.

The results? Although too many to list, some of key findings are definitely worth mentioning, because frankly they’re pretty astounding! Subjects who exercised and consumed a healthy diet seemed to have a higher index. This shouldn’t come as a surprise right? What was truly surprising is that subjects who participated in outdoor leisurely activities had much higher scores versus those who did not. Subjects who listed sailing or boating amongst their top activities achieved scores that were double that of other groups. The same findings were had for occupation. Subjects who chose “maritime” as an occupation had far higher results than those working on land.

Dr. Krachtig states, “We think that it may have something to do with the inner ear, or it may be due to the strengthening of core muscles as the body compensates for the rocking motion found at sea. One of my colleagues has suggested that maybe sailors are just better used to making love in uncomfortable environments.” To test this theory, a follow up questionnaire was administered, however nothing significant was found between the type of craft sailed upon and the couple’s or individual’s virility index score. This suggests that the size of the boat is not significant, rather the rocking motion of the sea.



  1. As an ex matelot I can assure the scientists us sailors took every opportunity to make passionate love anywhere, any time and whenever the opportunity arose and it arose many times if you catch my drift.

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